30 Funniest Drinking Quotes

30 Funniest Drinking Quotes

The best collection of hilarious quotes on having fun.

“If I cannot drink bourbon and smoke cigars in heaven, then I shall not go.”

Mark Twain

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald 

“I only drink on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not.”

Coco Chanel

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”

WC Fields 

“I feel bad for people that don’t drink. When they wake up in then morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”

Frank Sinatra

Wine quotes

“I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.”

Richard Burton

“A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the wold.”

Louis Pasteur

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

Humphrey Bogart

“Drink heavily with locals whenever possible.”

Anthony Bourdain 

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Benjamin Franklin

Beer quotes

“Good people drink good beer.”

Hunter S. Thompson

“Whiskey is liquid sunshine.”

George Bernard Shaw

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

WC Fields

“I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”

David Lee Roth

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

Benjamin Franklin

Wine quotes

“Wine is the most healthful and hygienic of beverages.”

Louis Pasteur

“There’s nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.”

John Candy

“We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us.”

Charles Bukowski

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”

George Bernard Shaw

“I never drink water because of all the disgusting things fish do in it.”

WC Fields

Whiskey quotes

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much champagne is just right.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

“I work until beer o’clock.”

Stephen King

“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

Ernest Hemingway 

“Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life.”

Charles Dickens 

“He was a wise man who invented beer.”

Plato 

Champagne quotes

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

Frank Sinatra

“It only takes one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

George Burns

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”

Bette Davis

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”

WC Fields 

“Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry